I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
