i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
