He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
