i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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