still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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