he wants to bone in the snuggie
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize