there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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