she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
