That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
