she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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