scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
