well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
