i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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