Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
