Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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