Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you would pick up someone in the library
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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