and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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