I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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