It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
