he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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