I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Randomize
