You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
