whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
