I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
