I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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