It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i wish my penis had a tongue
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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