but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
