she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
