Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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