Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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