in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
