..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
