You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
