I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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