He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
