ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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