Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
