Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
