god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am puke
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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