The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I love having hate sex.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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