just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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