Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Do vagina's smell?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
