...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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