i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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