Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
