just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I came so hard my ears popped.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize