She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
