sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
