im about as happy as oj after his trial
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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