and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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