and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
