this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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