had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
