it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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