you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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