You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
