How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
