there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize