Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
