Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
