The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
