And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
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Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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