i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think a kid would responsible me up
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
