Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
