So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize