so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
