You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
